Truth Meets Love Page 14
She is still alive… if I can just keep taking shallow breaths, my eyes will stay open. Please. Stay with her. Don't leave her now. Not alone with him. I am coaching myself through this.
Hadley-
Tralen has got me. I know we are far from safe, but I can feel his heart pounding against my own. It is in this moment I know I love him. No matter what in this life, I had love. So I tell him so in his ear as he is taking short, very shallow breaths and his arms against my side and leg feel cool.
"I love you, Tralen. Thank you for being my dream come true," I whisper as I hold him close to my front.
Tralen presses hard against me, his fingers finding mine and curling. I think he thinks he is squeezing them but he is so weak he can't.
Ben has grabbed my fucking Korean mink blanket to stop the pouring of blood from his nose. That was my favorite. I can never use that again now. When I look at Ben, I just see AJ all over again.
He is staggering unsteadily toward us, looking around for his knife. Tralen must have grabbed it during the commotion after my distraction technique, because he slid it over to me behind him when I landed. The knife is now safely under the couch behind me but it is close enough to reach when I need it--which is right about now, by the looks of it.
Ben mutters, still holding his nose, "Bitch, I am going to enjoy fucking you up!"
He takes another step. Then he stops and a surprised, terrified look comes across his bloody, swollen face. I hear a very angry, strong, low, familiar voice behind the couch roar, "I can't believe I ever trusted you. Get the hell away from my daughter!!!"
Ummmm?!?!!… Whoever it is, I think he is lost but we can clear that up after he kills this son of a bitch. Ben crumbles to his knees and his head drops as he begins to sob.
Police rush by my line of sight toward Ben. Then four paramedics come toward Tralen and pull him up with urgent but gentle effort. I feel the loss of his heartbeat immediately after they take him away. It was slow and shallow through his back against the front of my chest and the hand he was holding shakes now. I want to reach for him and not let him go, but I know how bad a shape he is in.
Another paramedic leans down and grabs a blanket, wrapping it around my shoulders, effectively hiding my state of undress.
"Ma'am, we are going to get Tralen stabilized before we make the trip to the hospital. These officers will be taking the other two of you in the squad car to follow the ambulance," he says and motions to me and someone around the side of hallway from the entry.
I stand, not sure what happened. I thought I was going to die. I thought I would lose Tralen, and I push the thought that I still might out of my mind. I can't lose faith now, for Christ's sake.
Who came? I ask myself as a pair of really nice shoes appears beneath me.
Mr. Greyson's face appears in front of me when I look up at their owner. He is watching my face process the events and images being laid out in front of me. It was his voice. I should have known by Ben's reaction to him. He said, "Get the hell away from my daughter"
What did he mean by that? Could he really be? What the fuck?!?!
Tralen-
She loves me. She just told me she did in my ear. I hope that wasn't a dream and I am dead already.
I think it was real; I felt her breath and the graze of her lips on my ear.
I know what I felt. She held me close. I felt her heart calm mine as she was pressed up next to my back.
I am floating and I hear a deep voice rumble.
"I love you too Hadley-Made," my mind tries to get my lips to respond… just before everything goes white. Then I see Jenna smiling down at me, and her hair is long and slightly blowing, like in a soft breeze. She looks like an angel.
Chapter EIGHTEEN
There Is So Much I Need To Tell You
Hadley-
Tralen is tubed and a mask has been put over his face. They loaded him up rather hastily after the checked his pulse and opened up his lung. We are in the squad car, following the ambulance into the hospital. He was unconscious when they pulled him from my chest to treat him and he still was one they loaded him up to leave.
I had just recounted the whole sequence of events to the detective taking my statement while it was fresh in mind and they were working on Tralen so we could move him safely. During the recounting, Mr. Greyson held me tightly to his side and squeezed me every time I would get a little choked up or tense as I was speaking. Could he really be my dad? I can't think of any of that right now.
I just want to see Tralen and be with him. He shouldn't be alone.
Speaking of alone, I should probably find a way to contact Cody and Mags. It occurs to me that I don't even know where to find his parents.
Please let him be all right.
I don't realize it right away, but Mr. Greyson is studying me. I peer up at him from beneath my lashes.
He gives me a sweet, apologetic smile and squeezes the hand he has been holding while I sat next him on the back bench seat.
I hadn't even noticed it. I haven't had much time to process or really care about anything but Tralen. Just that he stays alive.
There is one question I have to ask because it is important to me… to saving Tralen's life. "How did you know to come?"
When I had started to ask the question he inhaled deeply, almost bracing himself for what it might be. I have never seen him like this. He is agitated. He looks nervous.
He pats my hand. "There is so much I need to tell you. Another time, when you are ready, I will tell you everything. However, I came when I did because I knew something was wrong. The engagement and marriage announcement Ben gave at dinner seemed to catch you off guard the other night. It didn't seem like something you would want, especially the way he presented the idea. Normally it would be the bride sharing all the plans and details of the joyous occasion. I also knew if it were true you would prefer a smaller, more intimate affair. You have class and wouldn't want all the fluff, just the substance. Not to mention he is not the one for you; I was sure about that. I know what goes on in the Wellness Rooms at Mathis Engineering, or at least in the hallways that capture images of those entering and leaving the confines of the room. Then I got word that Tralen Creed had resigned immediately and Ben had been the one to notify HR. Let's just say the reasons were starting to mount in volume and continue to even as we speak. However, the breaking point was when I confronted Ben this afternoon about the figures you mentioned in your e-mail to me last week. It took us a while to put it all together, but you were right. The closing documents didn't disclose the correct figures from the project schedules. I knew it was likely a competency issue on his part when I confronted Ben and he lost his composure and started spewing all these accusations about you and your past and how you are not qualified to take over for me."
I realize at this point he knows about my past and our visit to the "Wellness Room."
Maybe I should have feel humiliated and fear losing my job but I really have no reaction to that part of his recounting of events leading to him saving us from Ben. No shame. No explanation. Other people's judgments or criticisms of me wouldn't mean squat at the moment. I am alive and Tralen is alive, thanks to Mr. Greyson. Thanks to my dad. However, we were both probably in the frightening situation to begin with because of him, as well. I can tell by the expression he is wearing, the guilt ringing his eyes, that he feels responsible for Ben's actions. I can't let him think that.
Mr. Greyson continues, "I got angry and confiscated his laptop since it is company property, and I had security throw him out of the building. When Ben was removed, I called Marcus. I was going to ask him get me some network data pulled to get a better idea of what Ben was conspiring on. I shared the high level details of what I needed and why. Marcus explained that you had already reached out to him with concerns about Ben. He informed me that he already had a lot of the information gathered and it was suspicious. The information he provided about Ben, along with the Will and Testaments Ben had drafted on his lapt
op for both you and myself set my alarm off. I had never asked Ben to do that. Marcus gave me your address and called the police and asked that they meet me over here because there could be a disgruntled employee executing his revenge on my… you."
He looks so beaten down. Normally Mr. Greyson is very confident, very handsome, strong and almost legendary in his appeal. He is well-spoken, witty and charismatic. However, I have never seen defeat in his eyes. He looks lost, almost childlike.
"Thank you for coming when you did. Please don't blame yourself for Ben's actions or his behavior. He had many peopled fooled, including me. I should have handled the situation with more caution and not been afraid to ask for help sooner. I think we all learned something here. We are all alive and have the chance to not repeat that mistake again."
I smile and squeeze his hand over mine with my other hand. Mr. Greyson hugs me and lets out a troubled breath. When we come to a stop, his hands are shaking slightly as he leads me from the car to the hospital room. Mr. Greyson gets on his phone and is making sure all the arrangements are made for the private wing and staff that will be treating Tralen while he recovers. His composure is back; you could never tell just two minutes ago he was fazed at all. He exudes control; he is in his element. Crisis management seems to be an area where he thrives.
I am so thankful he was there. I am so thankful he is here now. If I am being honest and true to myself, I am so thankful a man like Mr. Greyson could be my father. I had a lot of dreams about who he might be and what he could be like growing up. However, no one I ever imagined as my father could hold a candle to my level of respect and admiration for Mr. Greyson. I always pictured a more AJ-like persona for those honors. I guess I thought that an "AJ-Like" was the best she could have done. Maybe I didn't know my mom as well as I thought I did--or Mr. Greyson, for that matter.
I can't process all these revelations right now, although they are a great distraction from my current circumstances. I need Tralen to be my compass on these matters of the heart I am dealing with.
He has my heart, so matters related to its stability require his input now. I think back to our first date, before I screwed it all up. After he beat me in NBA Finals he said he was ready to collect on my debt. He had bet me that if he won he got a pass to "first base." I had to regress back to 6th grade to even remember what that might entail for me. When I realized it was a long way from home, I agreed without much hesitation as my trucker emerged. "He would already be rounding third if your vagina was making the calls right now."
He had told me he needed music so while we waited for the previews and our movie to load I queued up my stereo and Compass by Lady Antebellum started to play. He pulled me to him and began to dance with me in my living room. It vaguely reminded me of the hallway incident; he smelled and felt similar up against me close. Maybe I just wanted it to have the same feeling I had then, maybe better. When he kissed me and his hands pulled me into him, I wished he was my true north. I could start to believe he was sent to me; it was time for all the truth I had found to meet her chance at love.
I just want Tralen back… that is all that matters anymore. In fact, if I lost my job and my career but I still had Tralen, I would take that dance with the devil just like with Ben if it would have saved Tralen. The ultimate sacrifice…letting him use me in order to give my dreams a chance.
I feel like I could recover and survive anything life throws my way as long as Tralen is beside me. Until now I never wanted to share successes with, rely on or give that much power to anyone. They could use it to hurt me. I wanted to do everything for myself; it was my way of protecting myself. I don't want to do it all myself anymore. I want someone else to share the good and make it better just by being there. I also know that through our experience with Ben, as terrifying as it was, I had Tralen with me and it helped somehow. My chest pressed to his back, his hands clasped in mine around him. Our hearts literally found the same pace and felt as they were beating as one. It was the only peace I could find in the terror of the situation.
If he hadn't come, I would be dead. I know that. He gave me a second chance at life. He gave me a chance at love. I should probably not waste it.
Chapter NINETEEN
All I Need
Tralen-
When I woke up in the hospital bed and she was there holding my hand with her eyes closed in prayer, I knew already she was all I would ever need. I had promised myself as she faded from my sight that night that if I ever woke up and saw her face alive again, I would never let her go. She was mine and Cody was right. I wouldn't be truly alive and whole again until I faced my fears and had her love--my "Hadley-Made" Dream Come True.
I find it ironic that all this time we were both worried about chasing our dreams down or helping others find theirs and planning our separate strategies to live a life without "love." Then something neither of us could control, didn't plan, didn't hope for, didn't even believe in, steered our course to it.
I am looking down at her bare olive-toned skin covering her back, and my eyes drift to Jenna's ring on her left ring finger. It had been Grandma Pearl's and my mom had given it me before she died and told me to "find someone worthy of your heart to give this to." I always listened to my mom because she gave good advice and never steered me off course. In a lot of ways I think it was some of the character traits in Jenna that drew me to Hadley to begin with. Leave it to Mom to have a hand in this one. I always had a feeling she would be able to reach beyond the heavens before she would miss the opportunity to pass her approval over my "Mrs."
I start kissing softly up her side, following the line up her back as she sleeps soundly. I lay my head back on the pillow and pull her close to me.
My girl. My "Hadley-Made Housewife." She was the most breathtaking bride I had ever pictured and that statement says something, because the raven-haired toothless flower girl tugging Loosey down the aisle was a tough act to follow.
Mr. Greyson, or Dean, gave me her hand in marriage. My natural reaction when she finally got close enough was to kiss her, so I did, even if it was a little early according to the "tradition" of ceremony. After much debate and bargaining on my part, I had talked her into inviting her mom, Ally, to the wedding. She was in the front row beside her new husband Jeff, a biker badass that is the polar opposite of Mr. Greyson. I knew this kind of scenario was possible when I married into her family… full of contradictions.
My brother was my best man, of course. I finally manned up. I remembered what he said to me that night to get me to go to her. If I hadn't listened I would have lost her and that fucking psycho Ben would have tried to pin it all on me.
Macey and Cody sang "All I Need" by AWOLNATION and surprised Hadley during the ceremony. It was a song Dez used to sing Macey to sleep with and one Hadley now sings to her. My baby hadn't cried until then. She tried to hold back the tears but I could feel the heat in her hands as I held them and she tried to hold it in. However, when Macey came in alone on the chorus and looked directly at Hadley and sang with the most beautiful little toothless mouth, she lost it. Tears poured down her cheeks and I tried to stop of flood with my thumbs and then my lips. I couldn't stand to see her cry, even if it was at a joyous moment. I knew she saw Dez. I knew what this moment meant to her and always would. I knew what Macey and Dez will always mean to her.
Cody gave a toast at the reception. He mentioned that he knows Mom is there with us and would be as proud of me as he is. He reminded us all of what she had once said at Molly and Todd's reception when she gave her Matron of Honor toast to them. When he said, "One of the pieces of advice I heard my mom give at a reception once when I was younger was, Create memories; don't wait for them to happen. I never forgot it. Seemed like good advice. So do that: make a lot of them and give each other a lot of good memories."
I was surprised Cody remembered that. He was only nine. I don't think Jenna realized at the time how much I had "heard" in her speech.
"Today you feel the highs love can bring into your life
and to his. Always remember this day but more importantly, remember what brought you here. I want to be asked to return to celebrate many of your future anniversaries, so I will share some of my observations regarding important lessons I have learned over my life about a lasting marriage:
Create memories; don't wait for them to happen.
Don't let the worst damage your marriage suffers be from your own actions. Self-inflicted wounds leave more scars.
You will not always be in love with him, so if you want to last find forgiveness. And be open to falling in love with him many times throughout your lives together, even when you don't want to.
Problems in a marriage touch the whole family--keep that in mind before you have children.
Once you have children don't put all of your focus on them to create an excuse to avoid dealing with problems in your marriage. They will only grow and multiply.
Don't stay if he inflicts the kind of hurt that won't heal and don't ask him to stay if you do the same. Let go.
Expressing your love and understanding of each other by performing small random acts of kindness can go a long way in overshadowing the big promises you've made that may have gone undelivered.
Here's to a long life of happiness and blessed memories. I wish you all the best and I love you both very much. Good luck and take care of one another always."