Truth Meets Love Page 18

  At first I don't know what she is talking about and then the curtain falls for me. She doesn't know if the baby's mine? That can't be what she's saying.

  So I ask just to make sure I am not jumping to some pretty-big-fucking-conclusions right now. "Are you trying to tell me that you are not sure the baby my wife is carrying is mine?"

  She starts to shake as she forces the words out that about tear my heart wide open. "Yes, I am so sorry. I would never betray you, so please don't think that."

  What the fuck does that mean? She obviously fucked somebody else besides me in recent months because she isn't showing yet. I need to know who and when.

  "Who was he?"

  She stills at my question and I know it's bad. It must be someone I know. It couldn't be Ben?!? She wouldn't have fucked him.

  Her response is barely a whisper but it feels like a megaphone in my ear that hits my heart hard. "I am not sure; it was just one time a few weeks before we met."

  I can tell she is trying to choose her words carefully. She must feel the heat, tension and anger rolling off me. She is telling me and she didn't betray me. She has never lied to me. I think I am more pissed about the idea of some stranger invading my territory, if I am being honest with myself.

  At some point in this conversation I unconsciously find myself pacing the bedroom. I am trying to gather my composure and make sense of all these feelings coming at me as I try to absorb everything she has said. When I can't take the hopeless feelings that start bubbling up, I know I need to walk away from her before I say or do something we will both regret. I head with numbness toward the door without saying a word to her and leave the room.

  While I am sitting in the dark on the back porch steps petting Loosey, who has her head resting on my thigh and is being extremely somber and sweet--she must sense my sadness and unrest--I think back to how fast we got together and I scold myself for rushing into marriage when I didn't know anything about her. I should have known a woman like her wouldn't be sitting around waiting for me to show up. She obviously most likely had a more "active" social life prior to my introduction to her life.

  I don't doubt Hadley loves me or that she would ever betray me; she said it herself. Not after everything we've been through together.

  I know I still love her and always will, but I am still consumed with the haunting realization. I may have to face the fact our first child together may be someone else's. What if he wants to be part of the baby's life and I have to play the stepdad shit? I always told myself that if I ever got married and had children, divorce was not an option. I couldn't watch someone else playing the role I should be filling, and I really never thought the idea of being a substitute father of someone else's kid would ever be anything I needed to consider.

  It is one thing to marry a woman once she already has children. You know that going into it and you prepare yourself accordingly. I get sick with the thought that I will have to watch Hadley grow in her pregnancy and possibly accept that she could be carrying a child that I may not have fathered. It makes me start to sweat and shake. It is now that I realize I have tears running freely from my eyes.

  I don't flip out, break things and yell because quite frankly, all I can see in my mind is her terrified shakes and that defeated look in her normally sparkling hazel eyes. She just found out she is pregnant and potentially could become a single mother to carry and raise the child on her own. I know she could do it easily enough. She had a good support system even before I showed up. She has family all around her. They may not be blood but they love her fiercely.

  Just like I will this baby, no matter what because it will be a part of her either way. I pray that he or she is a part of me too, but I can't think too much about trying to change things I have no control over.

  I love her. I couldn't let her go. I couldn't watch her have to go through this alone, even if it isn't mine.

  I think back to her comments about not knowing who he was and how that could be. I mean, who has sex with someone they don't even know, anyway? Well, now I am just being stupid. I know exactly how that could happen. However, Hadley doesn't strike me as the type that freely gave that up. She made me wait! Well, so she thought!

  Then the ground shifts and I jump, scaring Loosey with my bolt up from the step. I am frantically wiping my eyes and start to chuckle between broken sobs when hope flares in my chest. I get the courage to let to myself believe the revelation. She must have been referring to the night we were together at Marcus and Shelby's wedding reception. I am the guy she doesn't remember possibly conceiving our child with.

  Fuck. I suck at pulling out.

  Well I guess that is somewhat of moot point now. I start to laugh when I realize that this works out well for me. I can shoot with both barrels fully loaded and it won't matter for the next nine months. This already being pregnant thing is the only birth control option 100% guaranteed to avoid another pregnancy.

  Once she is speaking to me again after I admit the failure of my ways, I might share this news with her for future reference. I think she will be adorable barefoot and pregnant!

  I could have avoided all this hurt for both of us. I should have told her. I should have told her about all of it.

  How do I do that now?

  Good thing she is already pregnant because she may rip my dick off when I have tell her the asshat in the hallway that night was me. I think I will leave out the Viagra bit. I hope the relief distracts her from being too mad at me for not telling her sooner.

  I have got to put her out of misery. Her feeling so stressed out can't be good for her or my baby.

  When I go back into the bedroom she is asleep. I bet she is exhausted. I tuck her in and softly kiss her cheek.

  With a big-ass grin on my face I head back into the kitchen. I reach in the fridge and then crack open a beer and toast a cheer to myself.

  I am going to be a father.

  Chapter TWENTY THREE

  Goatee Giveaway

  Hadley-

  When I wake up there are flowers all over my bedroom. What the hell? There have got to be at least 10 different bouquets, with vibrant and varied colors in each one. I think I might be still dreaming. Who would do this? Did Tralen do all of this? I get out of bed and walk over to admire each of them. The room smells heavenly and I see there is a card in each bouquet. I take the first card out and it says,

  "Keep Calm and Dream On." The next one says, "Babies smell good; Diapers smell bad. Let's hope I take more after MOM than DAD" and it is in Tralen's handwriting. There are cute messages in each one that seem to have the same theme.

  The last three are pictures instead of cards… they all have writing on the back, I notice, when I pull them from each envelope. The first one is of my black lace panties laying over one of my charcoal grey and black heels propped up against the pole in the loft, I think. It says, "My angel disguised as a stripper."

  The next one was me in my turquoise panties that he allegedly sent around to the friends and family network. The back says, "I am not good with my hands when I drink."

  When I get to the last one there is a picture of Tralen, Cody and Marcus at Shelby's wedding reception. I didn't realize that Tralen was even there but there were a couple hundred people so thinking back, that didn't surprise me. I giggle a little at the invading thought, At least that gives the dream a chance of 1 in about 150 that Tralen could have been the one that danced me right into indecency that night.

  I am about to turn it over to see the message I anticipate is written there when I hear the faint sound of a saw buzzing and Macey laughing in unison with Loosey's bark. I look out the window to the backyard and my eyes pool with the sight before me.

  Tyler and Cody are cutting wood planks for the fence around the backyard. Pugs and Emily are planting flowers along the walkway. Tralen is hooking up the last of three swing seats on a huge wooden playground set that has just been constructed there. It is the size and the variety of the swing seats which causes the catch in my t
hroat. There is a swing he is hooking up to the suspension lines that has an infant-size seat. The next one was a toddler seat with leg holes. The last is the one Macey is occupying as Loosey chases her feet each time they fly by.

  Please do not let this be a dream or too good to be true. Please make it be another dream come true.

  I look down and I am looking at Tralen's face in the last picture, then I turn it over and read, "Tralen & Hadley-Made. Did the guy in the hallway have a goatee?"

  I think back to that night and I recall the goatee and my face heats. Without even looking, I know my face reddens at the memory of his goatee on my neck. Then the correlation hits me like a cannon ball to the heart. It was Tralen?!?!?!

  How could I not know that was Tralen? I guess because I didn't know the "Tralen" from that night as well as I know him now. He means more now. He is "Had-worthy" status now, but he could argue he probably was then too.

  It still can't believe it was him! That skilled, no-faced man was my man! How could I not have remembered him? It's weird, I guess. I was just so into Tralen I didn't think about the guy from that night much. He faded with all new memories Tralen replaced him with. It is proof that just sex, even really good sex, is nothing without the flowers and swing sets!

  I start to giggle as the wave of relief almost makes me stumble and then start to jump up and down hugging the picture. I know the other two pictures also have a hidden meaning and this is his sweet way of trying to tell me something important.

  He loves me and he will love our Tralen & Hadley-Made offspring too. It does beg the question, however, running through my mind as it clears. How long he has known and is that the reason he wanted to rent the unit? Why didn't he tell me before now?

  I get distracted as I am on my way to get coffee. My nose follows the bacon grease to the oven where someone sweet made breakfast for me. When I pull it out it is still warm. I am so hungry I would have just inhaled it cold. I giggle as the thought occurs that I have officially started my journey to the land of 200 when I realize that even those flowers were starting to look eatable.

  Inspiration hits after I head for the shower, planning my next performance.

  Tralen -

  When I come back up to the bedroom from outside to check on Hadley, she's gone. She's not in bed and a quick glance in the bathroom confirms it. However, there a single pink rose laying in the middle of the bed over a picture of… SWEET MARY, MOTHER OF MY CHILD!!!

  She is posing in front of a mirror in the black lace garter panties and shoes and the bra is missing. Call me crazy but her tits look different to me than they did before.

  They are BIGGER… I liked them just the way they were but I will do my best to support and encourage their journey from a full "C" to a more than plentiful "D"! It is the least I could do, given the circumstances.

  I can't see her face, although I would know that body anywhere. It's mine. I turn the picture over and on the back it reads, "Kid Rock: Feeling Like Making Love? Meet me in the loft."

  I married the most beautiful, considerate, fun-loving, intelligent, strong and hopefully forgiving ex-stripper that ever walked this earth. I take a record-breaking shower, hoping to quickly get off all the dirt and sweat from our construction and landscaping project. I recruited Cody and Tyler to help me with the fence this morning. However, Pugs, Emily and Macey came out when they awoke and decided they wanted to help spruce the yard up too. Emily went to pick up some pots and flowers, while Pugs and Macey picked weeds.

  No one questioned the swing set idea or asked about the infant or toddler size seats hanging there. I had purchased it all online and had the Home Depot delivered big time. I made the call to the local store where the online order I submitted was going to be packaged for delivery. It was sent to them at 8PM. A young man named Evan answered the phone in the millworks department and shared that he had helped Hadley before with projects. They hooked me up with all the materials for the swing set and the fence and had it delivered to me by about 10PM that night so we could get an early start and surprise her before she woke in the morning. Evan and buddies helped me frame up the swing set. They stayed until about midnight and then they were headed to a party. I sent them on their way with a case of beer. Evan had to be at least 21. I continued to work all night on the swing set because I knew I couldn't sleep until I saw her smile again.

  I am pulling on my sweats from the "clean" laundry basket. I now have two of them in the bottom of my side of the closet. Hadley informed me that one is for the dirty clothes and all my clean ones will be folded and put in the other one. However, I was responsible for putting my own folded and clean clothes away and taking the dirty one to laundry when it was full. My idea of full is a little more than hers apparently, because every time I think I should take it down to the laundry it is already gone. Therefore I decide the right thing to do to repay the kind gesture is to put her clean clothes away too. Not to mention I like to look at all my options. If I didn't put them away, I would probably never know what is available to me. There are plenty of garments I have discovered already that I could have her put on and I could have a lot of fun taking off. It is kind of like being a kid in an ice cream parlor. What does the one place say… 31 flavors?!?!

  Which reminds me, times a-wastin'! I better get a move on. I have only sampled about 10 flavors so far. I need to go investigate the clues in the picture Hadley left me on the bed. I grin ear to ear as my hope swells and feels restored. I need to see that smile, hear that giggle and hold her. I have missed her and it has only been about 12 hours since I had them all.

  It is hard to believe that with all the hardness life can deal out there are beautiful things that drift into your life to make even the worst times seem bearable. Amazing what can happen in an instant. I will need to keep that in mind for future reference. It took us both so long to find one another and then life can throw you a few curve balls, and it could all be over in an instant. It takes a lifetime to find it and it can take only a moment to lose it all. Life can be so brutal, but she's here with me to face it. She's mine so I will make sure I spend each day reminding her of that and showing her what that means to me. I am ready for whatever life has in store for us because I know it will all be worth it. Gloves are on; bring it on.

  Chapter TWENTY FOUR

  Might Have To Forfeit

  Hadley-

  I see him coming up the stairs. He is already shirtless, shoeless and sockless. Although I am not offended, his sweats give the indication that he thinks I might be a bit of a "sure thing."

  He is just in his sweatpants and his hair is still wet. There are little bubbles of water sitting on his skin and the happy trail is a paved runway downward before its path is interrupted by the drawstrings of his sweats, hanging low around his hips. I will have to remove the obstruction very soon.

  The remote to the speakers is in my waistband. I am channeling Sporty Spice Girl. I figured a seasoned ball player like himself might appreciate the gesture. I tricked him with the "black lace" in the picture. For some reason they have significance to him, but I have another plan that I hope will not disappoint.

  Judging from the expression on his face--that crooked grin and bashful smile--I think he is over it already. I know we have a lot to talk about but I know it can wait. We will pull through this and be better for it.

  I have redesigned one of his old jerseys to fit me and then I crossed out his name above the numbers on the back with duct tape and wrote "HARLEY" in big black letters with a marker.

  I have a pair of Macey's little athletic shorts on. I had to cut them up the side seams to make way for my cheeks to overflow out the bottom. They were one of her birthday gifts I hadn't had a chance to give her yet. We missed her party because Tralen was in the hospital still. However, she wasn't too disappointed because Loosey got to go. I will have to get Macey something else now that I ruined them for our current "playoff game." Nice Hadley, so classy…

  They were tight and thankfully stretchy. I had navy s
triped tube socks pulled up to my knees and white sweat bands around each wrist and around my head.

  I hit the backlights and pulled the remote from my waistband and tossed it gently on his lap.

  "Whenever you are ready just press play for the game to start."

  I turned and bent ass to his face and began to act as though I was stretching out my thighs right in front of his chair I had deliberately placed on the floor for him to sit. It has the word "Coach Creed" on the back of it, also written in black over the duct tape label.

  While speaking to him with my head hanging upside down as my arms reach for my toes, my ass is high in the air… at his chin level.

  "I will just be getting warmed up before the game begins. I hope to score a lot tonight. I want to make my coach proud."

  I hear the chuckle just as his hands graze the bottoms of my shorts across my exposed cheeks. I reach back and grab his hands as I turn and straddle him, scolding his behavior as I drop them to his sides.

  "Hey, that could have almost been called an intentional foul, you know? Careful or you may get thrown out."

  "I'm sorry, I guess I just get a little too passionate about the game," he says apologetically as he raise his hands up with the universal "I surrender" gesture.

  He then grabs the remote sitting on his crotch… which I would say looks to be fully in game mode already.

  When he presses play and the music begins to pump from the system in the corner, I am nervous for some reason. I think subconsciously I am just worried that my playing out the rest of my game in the form of a "lap dance" may trigger a bad memory. My hope is that if I do it right he will only be thinking about us and the new life we have committed to together.